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Sitting alone is a bliss and somewhat a curse. I don't know why but whenever I'm alone, I'm free. But also a little lonely. It's never a company that is required but always someone who would be with me even if they aren't practical. And I don't know why whenever I am alone I see more than I should. I hear more than I was ever able to and I think as its the last hour of my life and there's still millions of stuff left to do.

Not only that, when someone starts talking to me I mistake it as a prank or something because I am not used to kindness or any kind of social activity. 

Actually, I am so habitual of being alone that even a simple thing like conversation amazes me now. Albeit there was a time when they knew me as a social butterfly. The spotlight person or if you wanna use a hype word then 'the-happy-go-lucky-girl'. Being that means you have to close all your doors to those judgements. You gotta be careless and strong as fuck to become the little miss popular. Scratch that, you gotta be either careless or a bitch to maintain that legacy you know. And I was none of these.

Hence from a social butterfly, I converted into an anti-social owl.

I stuffed my face into books and started wearing full sleeves and avoided friends who were never my friends in the first place. Grumpy was my new label. And I couldn't care less.
It was for my benefit only but then again people never stop talking, do they?


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